


Letting Go

by CCNSurvivor



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-09
Updated: 2015-04-09
Packaged: 2018-03-22 02:27:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3711379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CCNSurvivor/pseuds/CCNSurvivor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the USS Caryl’s  “All Good things must come to an end” fanfiction/fanart Challenge. Carol's issue with Pete is growing and when Rick doesn't do anything she decides to take things into her own hands. Daryl returns to witness the aftermath and helps her part with her past. Slight M warning applies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! I thought I'd participate in my first challenge for this fandom. Hope my entry doesn't disappoint. Let me know what you think! :)

A while had passed since they had arrived in Alexandria and too many things had happened. She found it impossible to switch off. While that wasn't a new experience in itself, it still differed from the restlessness that had usually taken hold of her on the road. Out there she was on edge like a prey that feels its hunter's breath in the back of the neck. But in Alexandria it was that and so much else. And sometimes people could pose a greater danger than the walkers. People, and the never-ending temptation to put down one's guard. With all the sinews of her body tensed it felt as if it would only be a matter of time before she would be torn apart.

The only person from the group who had ever managed to make her feel human, who reminded her of her strengths and weaknesses and managed to ground her somehow, had left. And she tried not to resent him for it but it had become increasingly difficult. When they had made it to Alexandria, Daryl had been just as suspicious as her and although they didn't get to spend as much time together now that they weren't on the road anymore, it had still made her feel connected to him. But then he had befriended Aaron and started to make an effort to fit in and now... No, she couldn't begrudge him his attempt. She couldn't begrudge him the chance for friendship where he had previously only encountered hatred and punishment. Because she knew that despite his tough exterior and suspicions what Daryl really needed was the sense of belonging somewhere.

Aaron was accomplishing just that by allowing him to carry out runs, by spending his time on the road but by accompanying him and slowly gaining his trust. And somehow that made her feel jealous. Especially now that they hadn't returned for several days. What was happening out there? What experiences were they sharing that she wasn't a part of? But more worrying than that was the fact that Eric had told her they should've returned several days ago. And they hadn't. A part of her was tentatively reminding her that it was dangerous out there...even for a man like Daryl who had most things under control. But whenever that part would come up with different scenarios that always involved a painful death, she would shut it down. As realistic as it was, she just couldn't face the possibility of losing him. So instead she kept her eyes on the calendar that had been hung up in the kitchen of her new "home" and counted the days, hoping that he would suddenly walk through the door.

  
If her thoughts weren't with him, they were usually circling around her other problem. Pete. Ever since Sam had mentioned the gun to her, she had been just as restless. It was impossible for her to go about her business when she knew that a couple of houses down, a man was abusing his wife and his son. She had told Rick, of course, that they needed to do something but so far he hadn't taken any action and she just couldn't stand to wait. Which was why she yearned for Daryl's return as well...to have someone else who would listen to her, who would give her good and honest advice.

  
But more days passed and no decisions were made and the situation only became worse. Until it finally found its violent climax with Rick and Pete punching each other senseless. And Carol was angry at Rick for it. She was disappointed in their supposed leader for acting so recklessly and for losing his shit in front of the entire town. Now their whole future was up in the air and Pete was still a free man, until the hearing, at least.

She had been pacing up and down the kitchen for the past half hour, waiting for her casserole to be done. With Rick locked away and with Daryl still gone, she had come to the only conclusion that would allow her to rest. She had to kill Pete herself. That way, even if they were kicked out of the safe zone she knew that his wife and his son were better off. She just needed a motive to visit him first, something that wouldn't rouse suspicion.

So when the dish was finally done, she headed over to his house and killed him. It had been ridiculously easy in the end. No gunshot that would remind her of Lizzie, no transformed and twisted body that would remind her of Sophia. Just cold justice, with a blade in the throat. But the crash of the casserole dish as it hit the floor and the gurgling sound he made still followed her home.

There, she hid in the living room, in the dark behind the sofa like a fugitive for his inevitable capture. She waited for a scream to pierce the calm night air that drifted in through the window. Something that would indicate that Pete's body had been found. But nothing.

She didn't know what time it was when she finally heard the stairs creak and the approaching footsteps. Blinking and casting a quick glance down to the bloodied knife she was still holding, she realised that she must've involuntarily fallen asleep.

"Are you here?" a voice asked and she felt such relief flood through her that the urge to cry became almost overwhelming.

Biting her lip in order to stop herself, she reached up for the edge of the sofa and pulled herself to her feet. To Daryl she looked like the same warrior who had freed them at Terminus. But this time her appearance worried him. Her hair was unruly and her face spattered with something that he assumed to be blood once his eyes drifted to the blade she was holding.

"Did they get ya?" he asked and had reached her with three quick strides.

"Who?" she frowned.

"The walkers...did they?" he searched her body to find any signs of injury.

"Walkers here?" she questioned and then added with a light, humourless chuckle "You've been out on the road too long."

"You don't know?" his eyes widened "Some idiot left the gate open and walkers came in. Rick says he's taken care of it though..."

"Wait...what?"

"Never mind...what's happened to ya?" he asked and gently pried the knife out of her hands.

"I...I..." she hesitated for a few moments before everything that had been going on burst out of her.

The more she talked, the more agitated she became though she barely noticed it.

"He whimpered, can you believe that? That pig is almost two heads taller than me and he whimpered and begged. Strong enough to beat his wife black and blue and to hurt his son but too cowardly to stand up to me. It's because he knows it, Daryl, he can see it. He can see that I'm the hunter now. He saw that Rick wasn't a threat but I am someone who gets stuff done. If Ed was here now," she chuckled bitterly "he'd finally see that I can cut men like him out."

Daryl didn't comment but just tugged her into his arms. Her entire body was shaking.

"Somebody had to handle this...I had to show him..." she repeated over and over again and he allowed her to talk until she had run out of words.

Then he stepped away, tilted her chin up and gently said: "Let's get you to the bathroom. You have a shower and get yourself cleaned up and get some rest."

He needed time to think, to figure out their next steps before the body was found. And for the first time in quite a while he witnessed her letting down her guard. She nodded resigned and followed him to the bathroom.

"Can you stay?" she asked quietly, almost timidly and with a tiredness in her voice that worried him.

"Yes, I'll keep watch, don't worry."

She gave him a brief smile, waited until he had his back turned to her and then began undressing. When he glanced up, however, he caught her reflection in the mirror, saw the scars and bruises that dotted her back and thighs. Of course he had known they existed but seeing them now so fresh still hurt him more than he had expected. For modesty's sake he averted his eyes once more and allowed her to carry on with her shower. But by the time she stepped out again he had come to a decision. He only waited long enough for her to wrap a towel around herself, then turned and approached.

"Ya don't have to be scared," he voiced gently and kneeled down, pressing his face to her towel-clad belly.

She inhaled sharply, clearly taken by surprise and so he remained where he was, re-assuring her that he meant no harm.

"What are you doing?" her voice was struggling to sound firm.

"Reminding you that Ed's gone," he answered, wrapping his arms around her so that the palms of his hands came to rest on the small of her back.

He waited once more for a sign of encouragement from her and it came, eventually, when she lowered her hand to his hair, weaving her fingers through it and grasping at a few strands. He couldn't stop the low, rumbling sigh that escaped his lips but was delighted to find her chuckling softly and clearly pleased.

"You're a survivor," he reminded her, shifting so he could reach the bare flesh just under the rim of her towel.

He kissed her thigh there, nipping at it until she, too, released a soft moan and allowed his hands in the meantime to trace a line down her back where he knew her other bruises were. He continued this maddeningly soft assault until she shivered and shifted and he finally felt confident enough to remove the towel. She was just as perfectly broken as he had imagined. Anger flared up in him and an almost uncontrollable desire to make Ed pay over and over again but then he reminded himself that he was here to show her how to let go. His lips travelled up her thigh until they found her belly again, this time caressing the bare skin and paying close attention to all the bruises and scars.

"The woman you were is gone...you aren't Jessie. You're strong." he told her in between kisses.

Her sighs were more satisfying than any answer could've been. Her blue eyes glistened with desire and comprehension alike. Because for the first time since all of this had started, she understood. She knew that with Daryl by her side, she could handle whatever consequence would follow her actions. And she finally accepted all the decisions she had made in the past, including the ones the old Carol had made. But that woman was now gone; it was time to say goodbye. And letting go, Carol offered herself to him.


End file.
